Things were so hopeful of having him around for at least several months and in decent condition.
But it was cut short. I don't know to go into details about what happened... I have had to repeat it over and over to people, and it doesn't matter. Maybe in the future I will type it out. But not today. It's too raw.
I will say that it shouldn't have happened. It was an "accident" or so we think. We will never know. But the end result of whatever happened remains the same: he bled out and died.
Best we can guess he didn't really suffer, but we haven't been through it so can we really know?
I love my daddy. He was an amazing dad. I have so, so many memories with him. Not just in pictures but in my mind. It's good for my sister to write about her memories of him... It makes me cry to remember mine. I will try to write them out. Maybe as they come to me or as I see them relived in my images. But only when I feel comfortable doing so.
In the meantime I am trying to deal day by day, moment by moment. Someone told me that the death of a close one if like a hurricane and that the waves are very intense at first but then they simmer out. I don't know how true this is. Because the waves are very mellow... and I feel that it will become more intense as time goes on.
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